The Hitchhikers Guide to Time lords
by Outsidersluver1992
Summary: Ok..Im the friend to YuraFuri...and we have no idea where this is going so dont even ask. and before you guys say anything....the Doctor WILL show up in like chapter 2 I think


The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy says that cross-species children are just wrong. They're potentially crazy, ego centered, and as it said before, just plain wrong. However, our story begins with a cross-species child who is slightly crazy, niece to an ego centric Galactic President and is just plain wrong. Her name is Jexinana.

Her mother is no different, except shes not a cross-species child. Shes from the dark planet of Raxicolacafalibatorius in a part of the galaxy far far FAR away. Shes the editor of the guide and does everything the old fashioned way by really going out to collect information instead of making others do it. Her name is Almalexi.

Poor Jexinana. She came into being thanks to a few to many drinks of Insta-Drunk Raxicolafalibitorian Brandy, the most alcoholic beverage in the universe(and the doctors meddling,more about that later) Her father is Ford Prefect.

She never knew that however, and was about to find out on the Vogan Constructor Fleet Ship. Arthur and Ford were on board listening to Vogan Poetry. She was already in the airlock waiting for her doom while her mother was enjoying a few Pan Galatic Gargle Blasters with Uncle Zaphod.

Jexinana could never understand her mother's addiction to alcoholic beverages with strange effects, then again even though she was 14, she was the same. Yes, she is from a very disfunctional family.

She was startled when an Earthling and another Centian were thrown into the airlock. The other Centian being stared at her.

"You look oddly familiar." he said."Im Ford Prefect and this is Arthur Dent."

"Names Jexinana, call me Jexi though." she responded.

"Were gonna die." Arthur said quietly.

"Don't Panic, were not gonna..." she said. A humming noise started. "Zark, maybe we are. Oh god, never mind. I think we're gonna die too Arthur."

"Yeah, we are gonna die." Ford said quietly. Sure enough, they fell through the floor.

There they were, spinning in space. Ford wondered what happened to his Hitchhiking buddy and if the last night they were together had any effect on his life. Arthur was to scared to think and Jexi wanted her bottle of Janix Spirit From her uncle.

Lucky for them, they were rescued thanks to the Improbability Drive on the Starship that just picked them up, the Heart of Gold. Unfortunately for them, however, they had been turned into sofas. To add to their luck there was no one to sit on them.

They soon turned back into Centian beings and soon after that, were being led to the Bridge by a manically depressed robot named Marvin. A smile creeped onto Jexi's face and she jumped at the couch, changing the channel from the news to what was supposed to be a ball game, which was replaced by the news. She cursed loudly.

There was the sound of blaring music coming from the kitchen as well as the oddly pleasant smell of pork brasing in Insta-Drunk Raxicolacafalibitorian Brandy.

Ford noticed the purple hairs on the couch Jexi had ran to as they were easy to see on white leather. He then heard a voice a voice he hadn't heard in years.

"Zaphod! The Radioactive Burner on the stove quit working again!" came the familiar voice.

"Hit it!" Zaphod yelled as he walked up to Ford. "Ford!"

"Zaphod." Hug.

"Hey, your girls on my ship. Almalexi or something's her name right?" Zaphod finished.

"Quit talking about me!" came the familiar voice as a fuzzy purple slipper made impact with Zaphods heads.

She had bright purple hair and eyes to match. She was very skinny and just a tad shorter than Ford. At the sight of her, he collapsed.

End Transmission

"You alright?" Jexi asked, noticing that Ford was waking up.

"Can anyone explain?" Arthur asked.

"Why do I think that I'm gonna wind up in the middle of everything even though I didn't do anything?" Jexi asked, eyes glued to the screen ( she finally found a channel with the game on it after wrestling Zaphod for the remote.)

"I owe you an explanation don't I?" Almalexi asked Ford bending down next to him.

"Yes you do." he replied sitting up slowly.

"All you have to do is think back to right before you left for Earth. I'll fill in the rest."

"Which part?" he asked looking slightly confused.

"What you can think of about the party and what I told you two weeks later." she said smiling slightly.

"Alright, let me think." he replied sitting next to Jexi, who moved over, eyes on the screen; part of her mind on the conversation.

She was wondering why Ford had fainted when he saw her mother. Did they have a relationship or something? 'Is he my father?' she thought. If only she knew how right she was...

Let us travel back in time to a long ago office party in the Hitchhikkers Guide office building. 14 years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 2 days to be exact.

14 years 6 months 3 weeks and 2 days ago

Instadrunk RaxicolaFalibitorian Brandy was being passed around freely.

Almalexi grinned as the bottle was passed to her. She grinned when she spotted Ford Prefect. He was one partying fool (could that be because he was semi-cousin to that zarking frood Zaphod Beeblebrox? Possibly, but never mind that, Lets get back to the party.)

Almalexi made her way across the dance floor, stopping to talk with some of the former Guide writers; seeing as she was the editor. She finally made it to Ford after five dances with pervy old men who wanted one thing and one thing only. "Hey Ford!" she shouted stumbling slightly from WAY to many Pan-Galatic-Gargle-Blasters and a few (20) bottles of Instadrunk Raxicolacalalibitorian Brandy. He reached out and grabbed her.

"How much have you had to drink? Come on, lets get away from all this." he slured, leading his boss away from the noisy party and to his office on the fifth floor. "You look cold." he remarked, sitting himself in the chair behind his desk. He patted his knee. "Have a seat."

She smiled and sat down. Ford draped his arm around her. She leaned in for a kiss. He grinned and wrapped his arms around her, kicking everything off his desk.

Almalexi reached around and started unbuttoning her dress. Ford grinned and removed his shirt.

Almalexi laughed and undid her bra. She stretched out on the desk as he undid his pants.

"And I don't really remember anything else; except that we woke up the next morning...and you told me you were pregnant two weeks later." He was sitting in a chair on the bridge, a Pan-Galactic-Gargle-Blaster in his hands. "You told me that right before I left for Earth, which would make her..." he gestured to Jexinana who was still looking at the screen, a very confused look on her face; a sure sign that she wasn't paying any attention to the game.

"Which would make her...my daughter." he finished.

"WTF!?" Jexi cried out from surprise. She jumped up off the couch and started pacing. She turned around and finally got a good look at his face. She noticed some resemblances. She started to stammer. "Yo...you...your...yo...you...this is fucked up." she said, then her legs gave way and she hit the floor.

So yea...Im the friend of YuraFuri. and before anyone asks...the doctor shows up in chapter 2 I think.

REVIEW!!!, por favor!


End file.
